Does having vanilla sex seem to be boring or overrated for you lately? Do you now see sex as a routine, that it has become predictable, and the pleasure is no longer the same? We understand your frustration!
It’s time to recognize your desires and tap on that desire to try those kinky scenes you’ve been thinking about. This article is a fun guide exploring your sexual preferences as a gay man and bringing back the hotness and intimacy in bed with added BDSM and kink plays.
The Importance of Your Gay Sex Life
Sex doesn’t only bolster your relationship with your partner, but it also benefits your body and health. Lowering blood pressure and reducing the risk of heart disease or stroke are among its top advantages. However, there are other significant benefits that sex can bring to your gay life, such as:
Energy and Excitement
Gay people are socially active. When gays bond with each other, it’s chaos in a good way. Having sex gives you the right energy to be with your friends or beat your workload. Plus, the idea of exploring new things with your partner adds to the excitement of your sex life.
Increased Confidence
People who engage in BDSM-related fantasies reported enhanced self-confidence. After sex, you’ll feel relieved and empowered with confidence in your physical image. This is especially true for gay men with body insecurities.
When your partner enjoys playing with you, no matter your body type, it gives you the sense of being accepted.
Sex is A Mental Therapy
Just imagine flirting or having sex with the hottest man there is. Whether it’s gentle and intimate or hard and raw, you imagine it to be gratifying. Whether fantasy or real sex, creating amazingly intense scenes in your mind will make you feel relaxed.
When you’re calm, it clears your mind to think straight and make a better decision.
Sex is Love
Despite worldly problems and conflicts, ending your day with your partner is the most sincere display of love and affection. Having sex with someone you’re physically and emotionally attracted to is more than just physical pleasure.
It reassures you and gives you the support, love, and attachment you deserve.
What is Vanilla Sex for A Gay Man?
Vanilla is vaguely described as the straightforward or wholesome type of sex that brands gay men who are unadventurous in sexual matters. The kink community uses the term to distinguish romantic gay sex in the missionary position from other sexual preferences involving BDSM and kink activities.
Vanilla Sex Routine Forever: The Good
Here are some of the benefits of when you do the same-vanilla sex routine:
It’s Straightforward
Having straightforward sex with your partner can save your energy for other important matters, such as work-related tasks. It gives you enough motivation to start the morning, or it makes you relaxed at night after a tiring day.
It’s Safe
There’s a little chance you’ll get physical injuries because it doesn’t involve serious kinks, such as putting in handcuffs and spanking. Thus, vanilla sex is great for those in the beginning stages of their sexual relationship.
It’s More Intimate (For Some)
More than the kissing and physical touches, vanilla has a higher level of intimacy than other sexual preferences.
Vanilla Sex Routine Forever: The Bad
Having a routine sex life is totally okay. However, it has its downsides, too.
It’s Limited
Unless you’re open to trying the Beginner’s Guide To BDSM topics, you won’t get to explore other sexual preferences with most kinks.
It’s Boring 
Just like a vanilla flavor, it’s plain and simple. There’s no standout scene in it, so that it can be dull.
It’s Too Safe
Because you’ve been doing vanilla for a long time, you’ll likely fear taking chances with your BDSM journey. You’re afraid to make discoveries, such as trying new sex positions or transitioning from being dominant or submissive in the bedroom.
It May Feel Like You’re Left Out
If BDSM was frowned upon decades ago, now BDSM is gaining popularity across the kink community. Gay men like to talk about their BDSM experience, so it’s easy to know BDSM basics. At the same time, you may feel left out with this kind of scenario, especially when you’re with your gay friends talking about their sexual preferences.
Tired of the Same Vanilla Sex Routine?
Most gay men abandon their vanilla in search of a life-changing experience. Given the chance, BDSM and kink discover the keys to a more pleasurable sex life. Additionally, gay men find several reasons why vanilla can get tiring, such as:
· It’s the mainstream version of sex. At first, there’s nothing wrong with it, but if you do it over time with minimal foreplay, no toys, and no kinks, you’ll get less attracted to it.
· The feeling of wanting more from the sex comes with the desire to feel more pleasure.
· There’s deprivation of other sexual pleasures and fetishes.
· It is becoming less hot and less sexy. No power play.
· It’s not imaginative.
Vanilla to Kinky: The Transition
We’re happy to see you reading articles about kinky stuff despite the news that mainstream media misrepresents BDSM. Exploring your options is the first step towards your long adventure. Smitizen and the kink community are celebrating your new sex life starting today.
However, transitioning from vanilla to kinky sex can be more challenging than you think. Aside from deciding what excites you in bed, you must ask for consent and set boundaries with your partner as you explore your sexual pleasures.
Here are helpful safety tips you need to consider as you transition from vanilla to kinky:
Decide what BDSM and kink you like
Understanding yourself and deciding what good sex feels like for you is the start of the transition. Get a paper and pen, and list all BDSM and kinks you want to explore, such as using sex toys, safe words, and participating in a threesome or orgy.
Get consent
Share your list with your partner and explain your side. Acquiring consent is a two-way process; getting what you want is the same as giving your partner what he wants as long as you both agree to explore these things in bed.
Set rules and expectations.
Most partners engaging in kinky sex have BDSM contracts outlining their hard and soft limits, expectations, and punishments. It does not mean you need to draft a contract, although it is possible. Remember that verbal agreement on rules is just as important, provided you both have great sexual communication.
Start with small changes.
Starting your vanilla to kinky transition with an all-out performance can lead you in the wrong direction. Start with small changes, like experimenting with a new position or adding dirty talk. Your desires can develop over time as you expose yourselves to the BDSM experience.
Play completely safe and healthy BDSM.
Read a beginner’s guide to BDSM, or ask your gay friends about kinky sex. Educate yourself first about safety precautions. Even a good dominant partner does not automatically have the skill of a Christian Grey. So before you start using handcuffs, blindfolds, or knives in bed, explore how to make your plays or scenes safe and healthy first.
Once you’ve decided on what plays you want to try, Smitizen is here to offer you high-quality silicone muscle suits, masks, and others to achieve more pleasure and excitement in your sex life.
As A Single Gay Man
As a single gay man, you might be guilty of having BDSM-related fantasies that make you meet different people. It’s completely natural because BDSM is for anybody. If you want to try kinky sex, find the right partner to explore with.
Some gays are open to different sexual activities, and others are somewhat familiar with BDSM but don’t like to try it. Take time to find an open-minded partner who can give you a life-changing experience.
As A Gay Man in a Committed Relationship
If you’re in a committed relationship, it’ll be easier to explore other sexual preferences because you’ve already established trust and intimacy. The best way to know whether your partner wants to try kinky sex with you is by asking questions.
For instance, when you’re watching censored videos together, try pausing in between and asking your partner if it ever crosses his mind to try those things. You can also add a comment on why it’s appealing and sexy. If he says yes, then that’s a good start.
If he says otherwise, discover other options, like giving him books about the BDSM lifestyle. Do it gradually, and don’t push him to venture into things he doesn’t want to.
Reminders
BDSM is gaining popularity, and you have probably heard about it many times, or maybe you’ve tried kinky sex a few times. However, you still need to be reminded of a few things for a completely safe and healthy BDSM experience.
Experience
Exploring sexual preferences is exciting, especially when deciding the sex you want in bed. Remember that part of the experience is doing things you’ve never tried. Experimenting with new BDSM and kink doesn’t always give you satisfaction.
Every once in a while, you’ll feel weird about it. Still, as you involve yourself in different kinky activities, you’ll learn to appreciate it more.
Diseases
Be careful with diseases like STIs. Trying kinky stuff with strangers may involve serious injuries resulting in bleeding. Note that STIs and other sexually transmitted infections can be transferred through blood.
Or, if you’re into anal sex, do not forget to use protection, as you can also get into contact with STIs through private fluids. It’s safer to initiate self-examination first or get checked by a doctor to ensure you’re both negative for diseases before engaging in BDSM and kink plays.
