Uncover the truth about the DDLG (Daddy Dom/Little Girl) kink. Let’s set misconceptions straight about this controversial subculture.
What’s the Hubbub with DDLG?
If you’re reading this article, I’m assuming you’re not new to the BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission/Sadomasochism) scene.
Still, even if you’re fairly acquainted with the practice, BDSM encompasses various disciplines and praxis.
Most are controversial — not because they are “super edgy” or “very out there” but simply because most don’t have much enthusiasm for learning about unconventional preferences beyond their sexual implications.
So, what is DDLG?
DDLG or Daddy Dom/Little Girl is often considered to be a BDSM kink. It is NOT about incest, pedophilia, or sex with minors.
DDLG doesn’t even support nor tolerate any of these things.
Since there are a great deal of misconceptions about this consensual dynamic, you and I will go through each aspect of DDLG to get a better understanding of it.
Some BDSM elements that the DDLG subculture may have been:
- Roleplay or assuming various roles outside the participants’ realities.
- Ageplay or adapting behaviors that are usually connected with a different age bracket.
- Power exchange or the consensual abandonment of one participant (sub) of their autonomy and the other (dom) handling that autonomy within pre-agreed conditions and boundaries.
- Dom/Sub (D/S) where one participant (sub) willingly yields and complies with the other; meanwhile, the other (dom) exercises control and influence over the other within the ethics of BDSM.
- Caregiver/Care receiver where each partner has the exclusive part to play in tending to and looking after the other, and vice-versa.
- Not all BDSM kinks are exclusively sexual — this includes DDLG. The kink can happen outside of intimate scenarios.
Although these are the BDSM elements common in DDLG play, these elements are not a requirement in DDLG.
For instance, a DDLG scene without Ageplay may look like this:
- The Little (sub) can pretend to be a student and the Daddy (dom) a teacher, who looks after the Little.
In this scene, the Little can be a 20-something student getting their master’s. The Daddy can be a substitute teacher making sure the student is focused on his school work.
The goal here can be foreplay or just relieve stress (the student asks for a break, and the teacher lets him or helps him with the schoolwork).
That’s an important realization for many — Age isn’t a required factor in DDLG. Instead, the play was founded on the psychological need for the Little to regress back in time.
What time? Any time, as long as it’s before “now,” where the sub is overwhelmed with being an adult with never-ending responsibilities.
Variations
There are many variations to the DDLG concept. The list below is already straightforward and self-explanatory:
- CGL (Caregiver/Little)
- MDLB (Mommy Dom/Little Boy)
- DDLB (Daddy Dom/Little Boy)
- MDLG (Mommy Dom/Little Girl)
- TDLB (Trans Daddy/Little Boy)
- TDLG (Trans Daddy/Little Girl)
- TMLG (Trans Mommy/Little Girl)
- TMLB (Trans Mommy/Little Boy)
No matter the variation, the idea stays the same — power dynamics focusing on nurturing the Little.
DDLG Kink Misconceptions
Because of how the participants are labeled in the DDLG kink scene, many misunderstand the whole play altogether.
I think it’s crucial that we get these misconceptions out of the way so readers can comprehend DDLG in its entirety.
First, remove any prejudice you may have about DDLG. Let me emphasize, DDLG:
- Does NOT endorse pedophilia
- Does NOT involve children/minors
- Its not a forced relationship/kink
- Is between consenting adults with respected boundaries and accepted rules
Moreover, the BDSM community and its subgenres note that anyone who defends pedophilia or any related problematic topics is not a real supporter or practitioner.
They are merely making excuses for their unethical or illegal personal goals.
If you happen to hear anyone endorsing or even defending pedophilia or the abuse of children, promptly report it to authorities.
DDLG Foundation and Ethics
BDSM continues to thrive despite its negative general perception because it follows a strict set of ethics. These requirements are non-negotiable and are the first things any BDSM partaker should know, understand, and do.
- Any relationship must be founded on Consent, Trust, and Respect (CTR).
- In addition to CTR, the participants must establish rules and limits they have discussed in detail and agreed on without duress.
- All participants must respect each other’s boundaries and work within the rules with no exception.
- Every participant must always be comfortable (or assented to a level of comfortability depending on the play) and safe.
When it comes to DDLG, the terms “Daddy Dom” and “Little Girl” are mere titles — the participants should be adults, of legal age and sanity.
Like other BDSM activities, the power dynamic in DDLG should not be taken advantage of by the dom.
Why DDLG?
Why did DDLG come into existence anyway?
Like most kinks, the dynamic is linked to the participant/s’ need to “breathe,” or “relax.” The most common case involves “alpha” type individuals who are constantly in an aggressive setting.
Such include influential businessmen, lawyers, police officers, or anyone under perpetual pressure.
It can also be any high-achievers or those dealing with toxic environments where they are forced to always be alert or in command.
To briefly escape their everyday reality, these people willingly give up autonomy and let their Daddy control them, with a focus on the soft, gentle, sometimes innocent, part of intimate affairs.
The Littles in DDLG crave care and freedom they can’t get outside of the BDSM play.
The Daddy Dom
The Daddy Dom is not confined to one gender. It can be a man, woman, or other — as long as they are experienced in handling submissives.
Additionally, a Daddy Dom doesn’t necessarily need to be older than their partner. It’s roleplay — participants can be anyone they want to be.
Like any other dom in BDSM, the Daddy Dom must be aware of the general responsibilities of a dominant within the play. In this case, the Daddy is to care for, protect, and nurture the Little.
When need be, the Daddy disciplines the sub — within their consented punishments, obviously. The punishments are only incorporated to give the little structure and security.
No self-respecting BDSM practitioner will assume a dominant role if they are not familiar with the obligations that come with it.
Even beginner doms — or those that work with seasoned subs to gain experience — are expected to have at least done in-depth research of BDSM, the specific play, and their sub’s needs.
The Little Girl
Like the term “Daddy Dom,” the marker “Little Girl” is not confined to one gender. It also won’t matter if the Little is younger than the Daddy or not.
The only important consideration is that the label “Little Girl” refers to a consenting adult. The Little is one who adapts childlike nuances or behaviors.
In DDLG, the Little gives up a part of or complete autonomy to the dom. Their behaviors or actions can be drawn from their childhood experience or others.
It will depend on what the parties discussed before. For most Littles, DDLG is a form of stress relief or a method to better express their emotions. It’s also a medium for self-discovery.
Littles should immediately voice out any uneasiness they feel and relay it to their Daddy. If it’s outside of the play, remember to use safeword/s to convey the gravity of the uneasiness.
DDLG Presentation
Littles wear those that are traditionally connected to children’s fashion but extend to an adult closet.
Think oversized jumpers, knee-high socks, etc. They can also wear cute accessories like headbands and pom pom hair ties.
To signify the BDSM power dynamic in a DDLG relationship, some Littles wear collars or chokers.
DDLG Activities
There are many activities for a DDLG pair, common ones are:
- Playing with toys
- Watching cartoons
- Reading bedtime stories
- Eating healthy (vegetables, etc.)
- Completing homework or chores
- Practicing good hygiene
Punishments may include time-outs, facing a corner, or removal of privileges (like access to toys).
Aftercare
I can’t stress how crucial aftercare is in any BDSM play. In DDLG, aftercare is usually done after intense play or punishments.
Every time, the Daddy should ensure the Little’s physical, emotional, and mental well-being via cuddling, reassurances, and debriefing the experience.
Always focus on reaffirming the loving, nurturing, and respectful areas of the relationship.
How to Start a DDLG Relationship
Now that you have an idea of what real DDLG kink is all about, you may be interested in trying it. But how?
- If you don’t have a partner now, look for one and be honest about wanting to try DDLG — but don’t just focus on it. Be a normal human being who asks someone out for a date first. After getting to know each other, mention DDLG. See if they are up for it, good. But, if not, you can stir the relationship to somewhere both of you like.
- If you have a partner now, discuss it with them respectfully — no forcing. If they accept, research together and create a list of activities you want to try as a couple. Some refer to this as a “sex menu” — you can include DDLG in that menu.
- Be specific on the dynamic, rules, punishments, safe words, and what-if scenarios. Be super thorough.
- Never skip aftercare.
