Pre-Kinky Gay Sex and Aftercare Tips for Gay Men

 

 

Introduction

Kinks, fetishes, and foreplay are the pillars of spice to a gay man’s sex life. With gay sex, there’s a lot to consider like oral, anal, BDSM, sex toys, and many more. All of this eventually requires some form of care when the deed of pleasure is done because quite honestly some of these acts are quite daring. It can be easy to often just want to blow off right from the minute we get the chance to during sex but it has been proven to be more pleasurable when every second of the experience is felt and enjoyed. What happens pre-sex as well as after sex are equally as important and contribute to the overall experience. Putting more thought into foreplay can lead to a more lasting and fun experience and practicing aftercare can create bonding and eagerness for more to come. It shouldn’t also be reserved for only the scenes involving collars, chains, and impact play. In this article, we’ll be covering ways to create a pleasurable before and after environment with your gay partner. We’re giving you tips on foreplay and ways to get you well-deserved orgasms.

Common sex practices of gay men

● Anal sex 

That’s an obvious one. When you think of gay anal sex, you easily think of stretched assholes and dildos.  Most of what gay sex entails has to do with the anal hole. Rimming, sex toys, and different points of view from tops and bottoms.

● Oral Sex

This easily comes next in line as the most common sex practice among gay men. Having cock in your mouth or being on the receiving end can sometimes be as satisfying as actual penetrative sex. It can be done while one partner lays down or in a preferable position for deepthroating. It’s not just about having cock in your mouth but more about the power dynamic at play. While one partner wants to be pleased, the other chooses to please by getting his mouth filled with cum.

● BDSM

This is where impact play, dominance, and submission come into play. The gay community can easily be ascribed to this bondage fetish.

Non-controversial Sex and consent

Sometimes it’s very easy to get lost in the fantasy that sex as gay men always has to be upbeat and high-end. We owe that fact to the media and porn industry. But in reality, we know sex can just be an intimate act. Nothing extra, nothing out of the ordinary, and nothing pre-scripted. You kiss your partner and suck him in no particular order. You’ll even find that non-controversial sex gives room for you and your gay partner to take things slow and know what you both want. It can be hard to have easy-on-sex experiences with random strangers but even that can turn out to just be a simple hookup date with no strings, chains, or extra hard spanks attached. If anal is your thing; whether top or bottom, take your time and enjoy the process. Non-controversial sex is sex that is consensual and easy to the body. No extra struggles on wondering if you’re lubed enough to take in different cock sizes at a time. Non-controversial sex strays from the fantasy expectation and allows more room for communication and respect boundaries.

Proper grooming and cleaning

Cleanliness should be a staple gay man trait. A well-groomed man is a confident man. From clean trims to good oral hygiene and constant nail trimming, a clean appearance should always be the goal. It is considered an attraction on its own. Who wouldn’t want to be with the guy at the bar looking well-groomed and sexy? Outward cleanliness translates to how well you care about safe sex. Because let’s be honest, with gay anal, you’re bound to see what a bum holds best once in a while and it can get messy. Unclean sex often also translates to STI contractions. It speaks well of a gay man if he puts in effort to limit situations like that as much as possible. Except if that’s where your fetish lies of course.

A few sexual grooming tips to help you would be:

1. If you douche, don’t use soap, and never do it right before sex or hope for a 100/100 sparkling clean bum.
2. Always clean up right after sex (oral or penetrative). Don’t lay in the moment and let all that body fluid dry up.

Then of course in general, have daily showers/baths, care for your teeth, and invest in nice colognes.

What to do before kinky gay sex?

● Have a reality check-in with yourself; be confident and sure that it’s something you’re actually into.

● Agree on safe words, tolerances, and boundaries. It is always important to practice safe sex in every way.

● Talk about yours and his STI history if any. If the relationship with him isn’t in any form personal it is best to know.

● To be or not to be. Are you going for bareback sex or not? That should be discussed.

Some requirements for properly organized group gay sex include:

1. STl testing
2. Condom use and lube
3. Consent agreement forms and proper communication on what goes and what doesn’t.

How to care for sex toys and intimate fetish gear

Treat your toys with care because they go in and out of your body. No matter your kink level, all kinds of toys should always be taken care of. Caring for your toys doesn’t just apply to times after its use. It also applies to how they are stored. Cleaning and properly storing your sex toys and fetish gear will most likely be the last thing on your mind after reaching orgasm and blowing off. However not taking proper care of these items can potentially lead to the development of some forms of health complications. So, if you struggle with cleaning your sex toys immediately after every use and properly storing them after disinfecting them, think of your health and the shelf life of your toy. You don’t want to end up treating preventable infections and ruining your toys in less time than normal. Typically, warm or cold water with mild soap starts the cleaning process depending on the nature of the material. Cleansing liquids as stated by the manufacturers are also suitable. After cleaning you should let it air-dry and store it in a cool place. Never share your sex toys as that is one of the fastest ways of contracting an STI.

Dealing with common sexual health concerns

Sexual health is an important aspect of a sexually active gay man’s well-being. A good state of well-being is closely linked to your confidence and how you see yourself and relate to others. Have it in mind to always address health concerns rather than take it lightly.

Common sexual Health Concerns

• Worrying about intimacy and sexual performance
• Struggling with body image dysmorphia.
• Fearing you’re not stretched enough and being anxious about it
• Worrying about Cumming quickly

If your worry is about a serious health concern then you should seek professional help and in no time all will be fine.

Dealing with sexual anxieties as a gay man

Sometimes in reality, all of the experience you have ever really had is in your head. So, with first-time experiences, getting anxious is normal. Even from the moment of scrolling through hookups and apps, the conversations can go a little overboard from feeling the need to be overly naughty and flirty. Anxieties can come from the anticipation of various scenarios. Meeting a hookup date, going to your first gay sex party, wearing your fetish gear for the first time, your first BDSM or fetish play, and the list goes on and on. That’s normal, things only get easier and more comfortable with experience. There’s a lot to explore and a lot to get used to when it comes to gay sex. Even if you’ve been sold the idea that BDSM and other fetishes will be a sexy experience, it might not be so the first time.  Start slow and over time you’ll see these anxieties just fade out.

Self-care rituals

When you think of self-care what might easily come to mind is the rituals of Sunday grooming and massages. While those are inclusive it can sometimes be way more than that. Self-care rituals are an important part of building confidence within yourself. See it like a process to get to know yourself better.  Emotional and physical well-being always translate to how well you enjoy sex and go about your daily life. Self-care can be done before a sexual encounter or as a form of personal aftercare. And in more intimate settings it is something that can be initiated by your partner. Self-care simply means taking care of your body. It could simply be by grooming yourself, resting, and practicing other wellness activities like eating certain kinds of foods and meditating.

Conclusion

Whether you’re just starting and inexperience still holds you back from taking on big-sized cocks and toys or you’re a more sexually experienced gay man, foreplay and aftercare are important factors that keep sex encounters rolling without anyone feeling hurt in any way. It is not uncommon for gay men to experience some form of depression after a sexual encounter that didn’t sit right with them. A little bit of foreplay, aftercare, and self-care would have resolved that. Let your love for men be explored in confidence and with intention. There’s a whole lot of kinks and fetishes that will interest you. Take time to safely explore them all.