Gay sex can be as ordinary as we choose it to be or as fun as our minds allow the teasing. If we’re being honest, sometimes kinks and gay sex are almost as stereotypical as expecting every man with a good sense of fashion to be gay. When other people think of two men in a sexual scene, they easily envision the kinkiest, most adventurous, and most erotic experience.
But not every gay man gets to explore their kink. For some, it’s just a general lack of interest, and for others, it’s a sad situation of not knowing how to explore and positively act on these desires. Exploring our sexual desires can be the most satisfying thing; however, the how and when can often feel like a big deal to overcome. If you’ve ever been curious about how to explore those hidden kinky desires, then this article is for you. We’ll talk about various kinds of kinks and you’ll find out those that stir up those desires the most.
What is a kink?
The word isn’t generally one that is unfamiliar, and it shouldn’t be confused with the term ‘fetish.’
Think of one being a more generalized term (kink) and the other just being a small fraction (fetish).
Kinks are broadly classified as sexual interests, behaviors, and identities.
It can be said to be anything that enhances your sexual experience which falls outside of what regular sex is known to be.
For kinks to be explored, you or a willing partner must carry out actions that spark those desires in you (like self-impact).
A good example is a desire for mild kinks like wanting to hear loud moans or seeing your gay partner lick his fingers.
The key thing is that kinks are more of an attraction to actions rather than objects.
And a healthy mix of interests in various kinks and fetishes can be experienced.
A good example would be Cosplaying with your partner in leather or other forms of fetish clothing.
Various kinds of kinks
Gay sexuality is always a wonderful thing to see and experience.
The limits to how far these desires can go would be impossible to keep a record of.
Regardless, here are some of the most common kinks you’ll come across and most likely want to explore.
Age play
This one is for gay men who deeply have the desire to control or be controlled.
Hearing the words ‘Daddy’ and ‘baby’ should be expected here.
If that turns you on, then age play defines your interests.
You should go find yourself a big daddy to fill in that void or a partner willing to be your sub son.
It’s a common kink in the gay community.
Agoraphilia
Most people like the thrill of carrying out sexual acts with a lingering feeling of the fear of being caught.
Some just don’t know what it’s called.
Getting Things steamy and heated up in public places is what Agoraphilia is all about.
Whether you eventually get caught or seen by a few people or not, the thrill of the possibility gets you going.
If you’re gradually coming into your adventurous phase, having sex outside at least once should be on your list of fantasies to be explored.
BDSM
Unless you’ve not had access to the internet and smitizen.com is your first visit for your launch into the modern world, you should have heard about BDSM before now.
The concept of Bondage and Discipline is quite common in the gay community, as well as Dominance and Submission, Sadism, and Masochism.
The kink generally explores sensory restrictions and the incorporation of pain and pleasure.
That’s why it’s common to see scenes that involve blindfolds, handcuffs, other forms of bondage, and impact play.
It is a kink that excites a feeling of safety, dominance, and power, as the case may be.
The kink tests
Now that you know what a kink is, it’s down to figuring out what is for you and discovering newfound interests you can safely explore.
Knowing what you like
The list of possible kinks is endless.
Think about a time in the past when you simply got turned on by a man with a newly done Mani-Pedi or getting turned on by a man in a suit.
If your flashback involves scenes of you having someone else’s feet in your mouth, then that was simply just a fetish.
To find out what you like, simply think back on all the little acts that turned you on that ordinarily shouldn’t.
Those are the pointers to know what you like and what your kink is.
Picking what you might like
Of course, there is room for safe experiments.
Not everyone has been so attentive to their sexual interests.
You can simply read about kinks and begin to explore right from the very first one on the list.
As a person, you might be kinkier than you know. You should explore those desires.
Not to say that there is anything wrong with the good old penetration and straight-to-the-point blowjob sessions,
but it is a whole lot more fun when you get to tease your mind before the process.
Not just through foreplay but by incorporating other unconventional scenes you might like.
Whether you’re into Doms, subs, or something different, there is always space for you and your kink.
Finding a willing partner
At the point where there is now a need to find a partner, it should be safe to say you already know what you want or what you’re looking to experience.
Your search should align with your desires.
If you’re looking for a one-time, no-commitment engagement don’t go out there looking for a man wanting something serious.
Introspect on what you want then act accordingly.
With all that said, here are basic things to put in check when finding a sexual partner that appeals to your kinky side
- Ask to know if you or the intended partner is seeking commitment or not
- Is casual sex acceptable by both parties involved?
- Are you open to multiple partners?
- Establish boundaries
- Always seek consent
Knowing what you want helps you explore your kinks easily without leading anyone on or hurting them in the long run.
Where To Find Partners
The gay community is crawling with various groups of eager and sexually active gay men.
Ask a friend. Join online communities. Be a member of kink and fetish groups.
You can find such on Facebook and Grindr.
Lastly, you can try online dating/hookup sites and be clear on what you’re looking out for.
Key tips to remember are to start slow, especially if you’re a newbie in the scene.
Take time to build your adventurous experience.
Enjoy the process and take in every moment while going about your daily life.
Practicing safe sex
Gay sex can oftentimes be more explorative than sex between other gender pairs.
With gay sex, it can be quite easy to contract diseases and STIs if safe sex is not practiced.
Beyond STIs, serious injuries, tears, or unwelcome bruises may occur, which wouldn’t be a good situation for anyone involved.
It is important to explore your kinks in a safe and consensual manner.
Always start easy before working your way up to anything intense and remember that aftercare is equally as important.
How often should something new be added?
It’s easy to fantasize about having a threesome and getting to deepthroat a partner all at the same time.
But the reality is if it’s not something you both have agreed to or are ready for, you’ll face some form of resistance.
And that can sometimes be a mood killer.
There’s no timeframe for when new things should be introduced,
but it is always a good idea to explore and get satisfaction from an old kink before introducing something new.
Sort of like wearing out the old before bringing in the new.
Never forget that consent is important in this case.
Giving and Receiving consent
Consent shouldn’t just be a buzzword for sexual activists or LGBTQ+ writers.
It should be a standard for every sexually active gay man.
Consent, as well as boundaries and safety, are the most important rules that must be followed when it comes to gay sex.
Before starting anything sexual or intimate, make sure you and the man involved have come to an agreement.
Note that it is not a one-time agreement; consent can be withdrawn.
During every process of introducing something new, consent should be sought.
Always communicate clearly what your boundaries are and what limits exist.
Safe and consensual sex is key to a very enjoyable time.
It ensures that one leaves feeling like they did too much or they were used.
Conclusion
Discovering your kinks and exploring them is a fulfilling journey of discovery.
Be open-minded and willing to learn new things.
It might be surprising that you are not an expert in doing a thing that turns you on.
Educate yourself, seek consent and communicate with your partner, practice safe sex, and above all, remember to have fun.
With all of these, your happiness awaits.
You can check out our kink collection at smitizen.com for items that can help enhance your experience.
