You may be aware of the term “humiliation sex” if you’re active within the BDSM community. But why would doing something humiliating be considered sexy? We’re here to reveal all you need to know and show some easy ways to incorporate it into your own sex life!
Humiliation sex involves incorporating embarrassing or belittling actions into sexual acts. Usually, these actions will be done by the dom to the sub. But this isn’t always the case. A sub can try to humiliate a top instead of getting them to act in a certain way. Humiliation sex comes in various forms. Including verbal, physical, sexual, or public/social humiliation.
This guide will be covering the psychology behind humiliation sex, along with what types of it exist. We have also compiled over 20 games for you to try! Happy humiliating!
Why Does Humiliation Turn Some People On?
1. Power Exchange And Control
Like many kinks, there are submissive and dominant roles when it comes to humiliation sex. This is elevated by using humiliation as a platform to enforce these roles further.
Humiliation is a simple way to ensure a sub understands that the dom is in control. It can be done by making the sub do a humiliating act or threatening to force a humiliating act upon them. Sometimes, the sub doesn’t even need to do anything. A dom can simply speak to their sub in a way that humiliates them.
2. Taboo And Forbidden Thrills
Dirty talk in most porn often features a dom speaking to their sub in a belittling way. Even something so commonly accepted is actually incorporating humiliation!
Confused about why someone being called names during sex counts as humiliation. Especially when they seem to be enjoying it, it’s important to remember that humiliation sex includes humiliation elements during sex. Not necessarily causing any actual humiliation!
Though that doesn’t mean there aren’t those who do enjoy causing genuine embarrassment, the thrill of breaking societal norms is what draws several people to this kink. It can be arousing to interact with someone in a way that is unexpected or unconventional.
3. Emotional Intensity And Vulnerability
Some may be drawn to humiliation sex to focus on their insecurities. Doing so to blend pleasure with anxiety or embarrassment. Enhancing a participant’s emotions to new highs.
These individuals may also use humiliation to build a sense of deep intimacy with a partner. By sharing their biggest anxieties or confessing to something embarrassing, they’re trusting their partner on a higher level.
The logic is that they use humiliation to show vulnerability. It’s a sign of confidence in a relationship. Revealing something too soon may scare away a partner or be used as blackmail.
4. Reinforcing Sexual Roles
For some, humiliation is used as a way to reinforce stereotypical sexual roles in a power fantasy. Such as more “masculine” men being doms and tops. Whilst subs and bottoms are more “feminine”, weaker, and smaller.
Some examples of this would include feminization, cuckolding and small penis humiliation (SPH). Some may find pleasure in embracing stereotypes in such a way. Tying into the “taboo” appeal behind humiliation sex.
Different Types Of Humiliation Sex
1. Verbal Humiliation
Probably the most common example. Anything involving speech to belittle or embarrass someone falls under this.
More specific examples include name-calling and degrading speech. These examples typically have the dom addressing the sub. However, verbal humiliation can be used for forced compliments too. For example, a dom refuses to engage in any sexual activities until the sub compliments them.
2. Physical Humiliation
Physical humiliation is typically anything that involves performing physical acts. Or changing an individual’s appearance. For example, forcing a sub to only be allowed to move around by crawling, and if they disobey, they get whipped.
Forced dress-up and restricted movement are often used under physical humiliation. For example, forcing a sub to wear diapers or tying their arms together. There is often an overlap between the different types. A straitjacket would count as both forced dress-up and restricted movement.
3. Sexual Humiliation
Sexual Humiliation focuses on sexual acts. The Dom is in complete control of how the sub experiences sex. Orgasm control, forced masturbation, and cuckolding are some examples.
The fixation on power dynamics that humiliation sex focuses on is clearly seen here. Consent and bodily autonomy are toyed with to the extreme to amplify them.
However, sexual humiliation is not the only way to experience humiliation through sex! It still counts as humiliation sex, even if you’ve only dressed your sub as a donkey whilst you mount them.
4. Public Or Social Humiliation
There’s no set way to engage in this form of humiliation, except obviously being out in a public setting. However, you should still consider social etiquette and laws. No one will appreciate you engaging in sexual acts in the middle of a busy mall!
Is humiliation in a busy area still too tempting? We suggest some safer options, such as wearing revealing outfits or acting out secret commands. For example, you could point down to command your sub to get on all fours suddenly.
20+ Humiliation Games To Try!
You should now understand just how versatile humiliation sex can be. There’s no single “correct” way to do it. We actively encourage experimenting and finding combinations that work best for you! To help you, we’ve come up with over 20 different humiliation games to try!
Verbal Humiliation Games
- Name-Calling Challenge – The sub must only respond to a degrading name. Try psyching the sub out by not using their actual name for hours and then casually using it in a question!
- Forced Repetition – Repeating humiliating phrases as a test of submission. Best used if a dom refuses to do something for a sub unless they repeat a phrase.
- Word Ban – Certain words (e.g., “I” or “me”) are forbidden. Works best if the sub is “punished” for breaking the rules.
- Animal Impersonation – The sub is only allowed to make animal noises. We recommend having a “trigger” so that the sub has to switch between speaking and making noises.
Physical Humiliation Games
- The Pet Game – Act like an animal (crawling, licking, fetching). This works well if accessories such as collars, tails, or full animal costumes are included.
- Forced Dress-Up – Wearing embarrassing outfits or costumes for degradation. This can tie into other games as a form of punishment for disobeying/losing.
- Balance & Obedience – Holding an object on the head as a punishment test. A sub might not be allowed to leave the room or take off some gear until they’ve passed.
- Tie Challenge – A sub is tied up and either has to try and untie themselves. Or they can try to do tasks whilst tied up.
Psychological Humiliation Games
- Permission Protocol – The sub must ask permission for everything. Make sure to reprimand them even if it’s something like taking their own money out of an ATM.
- Secret Confession – A sub writes down and admits their most humiliating fantasy. More effective if the dom teases the idea of telling someone or claims to have “forgotten” where the note is. They can always “remember” after they’ve made the sub do something confession-related!
- Public Exposure (Safe & Legal) – Wearing subtle but degrading accessories in public. Effective as a punishment for failing other games.
- Ignorance Is Bliss – Ignoring a sub and pretending they’re not in the room usually works best as a punishment, or if the sub is wearing humiliating clothing.
Sexual Humiliation Games
- Orgasm Control & Denial – Begging for release but being denied. Pairs well with forced repetition.
- Forced Masturbation – The sub performs on command. It is best used when the sub is in the middle of doing something.
- Small Penis Humiliation (SPH) – Mocking and comparing size for arousal. For that extra level of humiliation, the dom should always act like they have a bigger one even if the sub’s penis is bigger.
- Forced Cuckolding – Having a sub watch as the dom has sex with someone else. Works best if the sub and dom are in a relationship. Try at your own risk!
Public Humiliation Games (Consensual & Private)
- Embarrassing Shopping List – Buying humiliating items in public. Diapers, baby toys, sex toys, etc.
- The Blushing Selfie – Taking a humiliating photo. Along with adding a degrading caption and posting it on social media. Pairs well with any form of forced dress-up.
- The Stuttering Game – Reciting a humiliating script perfectly or repeating it louder. Works best in crowded spaces that aren’t too loud (Malls, libraries, museums).
- The Question Game – Asking sub inappropriate questions as they pass strangers. Works best if these questions relate to the sub’s kinks and fetishes in some way.
Financial Humiliation Games (Findom & Pay Pig Play)
- Wallet Control – The dominant controls the sub’s spending. Works best if a sub is encouraged to buy gear used for sessions. They can also be reprimanded for buying normal luxury goods. Yet purchases related to humiliation sex are important ones, on the same level as rent.
- Shopping Cart Embarrassment – The dom fills the sub’s cart with humiliating items. This differs from “Embarrassing Shopping List”. The sub won’t know what they’re paying for until they’re told to check out.
- Bribery – Using bribes to influence someone. A sub might bribe a dom to get them to release them from a silicone hood. Or a dom might bribe a sub into trying the pet game.
How To Explore Humiliation Sex Safely
Set Clear Boundaries
Everyone must discuss limits before engaging in play. Especially with how versatile humiliation sex can be!
Establish your boundaries early on. Note the boundaries of any other participants so you can plan.
Use Safe Words
Even if you’re not participating in any intense, physical-humiliation sex, you should have a safe word. Any word, object, or action can be a reminder of something unpleasant. Even the person affected might not be aware of it themselves!
A safe word is typically a non-sexual word used to indicate that a participant wants to stop the session. Upon hearing this word, all participants must stop instantly. You should ensure this word is noticeable, along with not being something that might accidentally be said.
Check-In Before And After
You should have already discussed what you intend to do during your session. However, it’s a good idea to check before you begin to ensure everyone still wants to go ahead.
Likewise, you must include aftercare to prevent emotional distress. Given the nature of humiliation sex, this is vital. Aftercare allows you to discuss your session. It also allows subs to regain a sense of dignity and agency if they’ve had an intense experience.
Aftercare also means you can plan for future sessions. Everyone gets a chance to discuss what worked or didn’t work for them, allowing participants to establish in advance whether they’re up to doing another session.
Consent Is Key
Humiliation should never damage real self-esteem. Obviously, humiliation sex involves elements of… Humiliation. But the emphasis here is on “elements”. Unless a sub has otherwise stated they’re okay with it, you should never do anything too personal. Or something that would have consequences for their day-to-day life.
Is Humiliation Sex Right For You?
Do you find that your current sex life involves lots of themes of trust and vulnerability? Humiliation sex takes these themes and amplifies them to a whole new level of arousal. Like many other kinks or fetishes, humiliation sex focuses on extremes.
Suppose you’re into the idea of being in an unconventional scenario, or even impossible under normal circumstances. Humiliation sex plays into that. It’s versatile and can fit around your existing interests.
For example, got a transformation fetish? Your dom could incorporate that into their verbal humiliation. Teasing about how you look much better as a toon tiger than a human. All whilst forcing you to wear a cartoon tiger mask.
Do you already know you want to give it a try? We recommend starting slow, communicating frequently and clearly with potential participants, and prioritizing consent, no matter how much experience the other participants have. If someone is trying to rush you, don’t engage further.
We’ve covered most topics related to approaching humiliation sex as a beginner. But feel free to do your research! We recommend finding custom humiliation scripts. Along with aftercare tips and beginner-friendly scenes to get you started.
Conclusion
We hope this guide has helped open your mind to the possibilities that humiliation sex can offer you! Feel free to share this guide to encourage others to give it a try, too!
Did you try any of our games? Or do you have a few suggestions for games that you’d recommend trying? Feel free to let us know in the comments!
Looking to try some public humiliation? Why not get your hands on a middle-aged man mask for your early 20s sub to wear to a club? He’ll look much better that way~
