It’s not new to hear Shibari mention BDSM, specifically bondage. Like fantasies of being bound, shibari came from the shadows and into the light.
But hold on – it doesn’t only offer eroticism. Aside from providing an avenue to let individuals explore their sexuality and fetishes, shibari also has non-sexual benefits that can spice up intimacy in the bedroom.
What is Shibari?
Though shibari is famous in the sexy context, its origin is more serious. You may hear others referring to shibari as kinbaku or Japanese bondage, but they are not the same. At least not before authority personnel’s lives became easier with the invention of handcuffs.
Before we start, let’s identify their distinctions. We can say that hojōjutsu is the great-grandfather of Shibari. Hojōjutsu, which means “Restraining Rope Technique,” is the martial art of well, restraining prisoners.
Take that up a notch where the rope is used to control and torture. That’s Shibari. So… what’s kinbaku? Kinbaku throws in something to the mix that makes Shibari bedroom-appropriate: amorousness.
Kinbaku (or kinbaku-bi) means “The Beauty of Tight Binding.” It’s more focused on the sensual and emotional aspects of rope binding. And thus, partners experiment and make “art” together.
This time, they are not only after the sensations and restraints but also the psychological benefits of making intricate knots. Since Western BDSM took inspiration from all forms, Japanese bondage is synonymous with shibari and kinbaku.
History of Shibari
Let’s rewind the clock and travel back to the Tokugawa period from 1603 to 1867. This final period of traditional Japan is most commonly called the Edo period. It was the shogun Tokugawa Ieyasu’s pride and glory to establish centuries of peace and economic growth.
From the East
However, this stability came with its sacrifices. The Tokugawa ended the Warring States Era but ruled with a heavy hand over the territories, effectively isolating Japan from the rest of the world. And so, with no more wars threatening their lives, people were more focused on education, pleasure, and entertainment.
The Edo period distracted the citizens with pleasure quarters to censor any pesky government criticism. In these spaces, anyone, especially the influential and powerful, can make their imagination a reality. No matter how dark the erotic fantasy may be.
These fantasies are often unrestrained, which is unsurprising given that Japan isn’t a Christian country. It’s a Confucian society that is more concerned with social order.
To the West
The cross-pollination of cultures between Japan and the United States can be highly attributed to the Second World War, from 1939 to 1945. The American military may have borrowed the art of knotting from the Japanese police to contain the prisoners of war, but it slowly became more popular in Hollywood.
The intrigue and eroticism that drive the entertainment industry lead to explicit fetish magazines, photography, and illustrations. Slowly, shibari became a part of the Western style of BDSM. In the 21st century, shibari is a pleasure craft, a genre under specialty porn that require expertise and willing participants.
Shibari Terminology
Interested in learning shibari? If you are, then here are the terms you should be familiar with first:
· Rigger/ Rope Top: The one tying the knots.
· Rope Bottom/Bunny: The one being bound.
· Floor Tie: When the rope art is done entirely on the floor. Just the floor.
· Suspension: When the rope art includes elevating the body with ropes.
· Self-tie: When the one doing the rope tie does it on himself.
· A very important note:
All through shibari art, the participants have ready mutual safe words, gestures, or signals.
The Appeal of Shibari
Let’s unpack why Shibari got people tied up in knots of fascination. This Japanese art of rope bondage isn’t just about intricate knots and fancy ties; it’s a journey into the depths of desire and intimacy.
Exploring the Intrigue
So, why do people fall head over heels (or should we say, head over heels and tied to the bedposts?) for Shibari?
Here are some juicy tidbits:
· Control Release: Shibari isn’t just about restriction; it’s about the liberating excitement of giving up control or having it taken away. The bunny surrenders and the rigger takes charge – a captivating exchange of power that can be exhilarating.
· Tactile Sensations: Imagine the sensation of soft, silky ropes grazing your skin, teasing and tantalizing with every touch. Shibari is a symphony of tactile sensations. Cool and smooth ropes, contrasted with the warm, living body beneath them, create an orchestra of feeling.
· D/S Fantasies: Shibari has a way of tapping into those primal desires for dominance and submission. For some, being expertly bound is an act of trust, an invitation into vulnerability that’s nuanced and erotic. It’s a sexy game of “Simon says,” but with knots.
The Heightened Intimacy
Shibari is also about forging a connection that goes beyond the physical realm. Practicing with care and consent can lead to levels of intimacy you never thought possible.
· The Art of Communication: Shibari is a language all its own. It forces partners to communicate profoundly, as each knot and bind requires consent and feedback. It’s like a non-verbal dance of desire, trust, and vulnerability.
· Intensified Sensations: The wrapped ropes enhance the bunny’s sensitivity and increase the body’s pleasure receptors.
· Emotional Connection: Sharing such an intimate and vulnerable experience with someone creates an emotional bond beyond the bedroom.
From the Rigger’s Perspective
Now, let’s flip the script and peek into the mind of the rigger (or top). After all, they’re the puppeteer behind this sensual spectacle.
· Creating Unforgettable Experiences: Rigging isn’t just about tying knots and crafting an experience. A skilled rigger can take you on a journey – from sensations of shame to the heights of ecstasy.
· Beautifully Painful: Shibari isn’t all sweet and gentle; it flirts with pain most exquisitely. The rigger knows how to push boundaries, exploring the fine line between pleasure and pain.
· Artistry in Rope: For a rigger, each rope is a brushstroke on the canvas of the body. They create intricate patterns and designs that are visually captivating and enhance their partner’s physical and emotional experience. It’s artistry with a twist – quite literally.
Strengthening Relationships through Shibari
Let’s clarify one thing from the get-go: Shibari isn’t a quick fix for a rocky relationship. What Shibari can do, though, is catalyze something bigger – if you play your cards right.
Communication and Trust-Building
Picture this: you and your partner, naked and vulnerable, with ropes as the only barrier between you. Sounds intense, right? It is. The activity’s demand for communication and trust makes it special.
You need to talk before you even think about bringing out the ropes. Discuss boundaries, desires, and expectations. Clear communication is the key to ensuring everyone’s on the same page. Plus, when someone’s tied up in Shibari, they put their complete trust in their partner – physically, emotionally, and mentally.
It’s the ultimate trust fall, except your partner’s there to catch you every time. Over time, this trust grows and seeps into your relationship outside the bedroom.
If you’re the rope top…
Learn to read your partner’s body like a pro. You should be attuned to the subtle shifts and reactions, knowing when to tighten or loosen a rope. Shibari isn’t just about pretty patterns and building a deeper connection. You’ll discover what makes their partner tick, what ignites their passion, and what makes them vulnerable.
Learning More about Shibari
Here are some recommended resources to check out:
· The Twisted Monk: Twisted Monk offers an array of rope products, tutorials, and tips to get you started on your binding escapades.
· Shibari Study: Shibari Study is your Hogwarts of rope bondage. They provide comprehensive courses on shibari techniques. You can also engage with other enthusiasts and instructors.
· Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage: Midori’s book is like the Holy Grail of Shibari literature. It has insights, history, and step-by-step guides to elevate your skills.
· Rope Craft Conferences: If you’re a social butterfly with a penchant for ropes, consider attending conferences like Rope Craft or Ropecraft Rebound. These events offer workshops, demonstrations, and a chance to mingle with like-minded enthusiasts.
· FetLife: This kinky social network is a treasure trove of Shibari groups and forums.
· r/shibari: There’s indeed a subreddit for everything. Here, you’ll find a vibrant community discussing techniques, sharing experiences, and offering advice.
· Local Workshops: Check for any local Shibari workshops or events in your area. Learning from experienced riggers in person can be an enlightening experience.
Shibari, The Key to Better Ties
From the delicate dance of ropes to the electrifying sensations, shibari is more than just knots and ties. It highlights communication and trust. Both are important when forging steel connections that aren’t just physical. Still, it’s critical to remember that shibari is no magic glue to fix relationships.
But it can be the magic ingredient to make your intimate links tastier. It’s an art and a voyage you can take with your partner. In creating the perfect recipe to revive your relationships, shibari requires prioritizing consent, safety, and respect.
